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Posts Tagged ‘Lord Grand Poobah and Queen of Sheba’

We don’t need organic massages

We don’t need photofacials

We don’t need Chick-Fil-A blocking a trademark application by Eat More Kale

We don’t need a mini bobble-head of ourselves made in time for Christmas

We don’t need cake balls from Mama’s Cake Balls in NYC

We don’t need children to be obese

We don’t need obese children being taken from their homes

We don’t need Coulter

We don’t need fake boobs

We don’t need male enhancement

We don’t need bad medicine

We don’t need misinformation

We don’t need the sun to go down at 4:30 pm

We don’t need more rain

We don’t need fear mongers

We don’t need to rant

We don’t need to do the dishes that are spilling out of the sink and onto the counter

We don’t need to lose weight

We don’t need to eat the last home-made oatmeal chocolate-chip cookie just because it beckons with a sexy voice

We don’t need Anthony Hopkins or Robert Duvall to get any older

We don’t need a mellifluous voice whispering melty words in our ear all of the time, just some of the time

We don’t need writer’s block

We don’t need sunblock (in the winter)

We don’t need a vacation to an exotic, tropical locale; only a vacation for one overnight, somewhere really close, even if it’s slightly chilly

We don’t need to know our age

We don’t need to act our shoe size

We don’t need to check our site stats more than 25 times a day

We don’t need to see Paris more than at least once before we die

We don’t need politics mixed up with religion

We don’t need the taste of licking an envelope to linger on our tongue

We don’t need the cat to think that every pair of socks left on the floor is a venomous snake from which to leap backwards at the height of 1.5′ and at a distance of 3′

We don’t need to link our accounts, sign up for another rewards card, or see any exciting travel destinations

We don’t need to post naked photos of women with fake boobs to get more readers

We don’t need to think about summer or to love the world any more than we already do

But we think about it

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