Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘orchid’

Neither John Lennon nor Paul McCartney could read music. I know you know that. But think about it—it’s awesome.

In one of the stalls in the women’s bathroom at Bruegger’s, there is a potted plastic orchid on top of the toilet tank. Its fake leaves are horribly droopy and its pink plastic flowers are not vaginal or labial or vulvar, but I couldn’t help but think of female genitals anyway. Please help.

Last year, I vowed to credit the photos that I reprint on my blog, but I simply don’t care.

I have never driven in New York City, the state of New Jersey, or any European country.

I was recently nominated for a Versatile Blogger Award, but I haven’t done anything I’m supposed to. It’s possible I still will. Just giving you a heads up.

In Improv, you learn to engage in “yes and” interactions with your fellow Improvers. You shall not “neg” their suggestions, but my behavior in response to being nominated is negging. Negging sucks. It feels really bad. What’s a blogger to do?

Those values.com billboards give me the creeps and I finally looked it up. FUCK THAT!

Why, when I looked up Hurlbut Paper Co. in google images, did a photo of Javier Bardem come up? I can barely look without falling over. Oh My God.

Hurlbut is a funny name, but the factory, in the Berkshires, is lovely. It is owned by Mead Paper. I want all factories to look like it looks. Old-fashioned American-made goods. Bricks and trestle bridges. The illusion that paper-production is clean. Please?

I remember being near Chillocothe, Ohio and smelling the air as we drove by a paper mill. Have you ever experienced this?

When I was in high school on the Speech Team (I know you are shocked at this admission of geekdom), I stayed overnight in a house in Chillocothe. It was one of the most amazing houses I have ever been in. It had transom windows above the bedroom doors. I love transom windows.

When I searched google images for Chillocothe, Ohio, I found this. If you click through, you will not be sorry, especially the menfolk (half the time when I tried to link to it, the image showed up directly; half the time not. I don’t understand wordpress, you know that).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fuzzzy/3171990883/

Read Full Post »

Remember how prickly I can be about details? Well, I got the geography wrong yesterday–some names and some finer points. Burma is Myanmar. So when I wrote Burma, it should simply have been Myanmar. And I think I meant the Malay Peninsula, because Myanmar doesn’t really have one (a peninsula, don’t get any ideas).

The things in my head are curries. And beautiful, vulvar orchids (even though you know what the Latin word orchis means, right?). And pythons (Burmese python, right?). And cats (a Burmese is a kind of cat, right?) and dogs (same thing, only in dog form). Nope, scratch that. That’s a Bernese Mountain dog. I used to massage a couple who had one of those. Large, neurotic dog, originally bred in the Swiss mountains and related to the better-known St. Bernard. At least that’s what I remember from my clients….I’d best shut up before I get any more facts wrong….

So for any fellow sticklers, you’ve now seen that I, too, can make mistakes of a geographical nature. Not like I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground or anything, but you get the idea.

Sigh.

Read Full Post »