Posts Tagged ‘scantily-clad women go-go dancing’

1. Number of poetry submissions since July 29, 2012: 20. THAT’S: TWO ZERO; T-W-E-N-T-Y

2. Number of poetry submissions, so far, in my 30 poems/30 days: 16, ONE SIX; SIXTEEN. Did you even understand the difference between #1 and #2? Because I already don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.

3. Number of rejections: 2. TWO. DEUX. DOS. ZWEI. AND I can say two in Greek and Hungarian and Hebrew and Japanese, but not so much the spelling of them, so…..

4. Are you bored yet?

5. Number of acceptances: 2. TWO.

Yes, that’s right. Now, I’ll be honest and say that one of my acceptances was from before I decided to do my 30/30 poetry submissions and was a sample of my work in order that I could “apply” to be a featured reader at Rao’s’ last Friday reading last month. You already know about that, so maybe it’s not really news or really an “acceptance.” But fuck it, I’m taking it.

The other acceptance was of ONE poem from 3 which I submitted to an online poetry journal and I can’t yet “talk” about it because, you know, nothing is finalized.

7. Amount I’ve spent so far submitting my poems: $56. Mostly, this amount is broken up into little bits and often covers the cost of receiving a copy of whatever journal even if I don’t get published. More often, it is because some of the submissions are for “contests;” a different matter than an “open submission” period.

8. Number of uses of the “eff” word in the poems I submitted: I have no idea, but off the top of my head I’d say 3.

9. Being a poet is exciting, n’est-ce pas?

10. Am I happy? I don’t know, what do you think?

11. Yes, I’m going out to dance my fucking ass off on Saturday night. Are you fer or agin me? I will be wearing more than these lovely ladies are wearing. Because you know, it is in the 30s outside tonight.

12. Is she holding a wimpy riding crop or is that a stalk of a wheat-like plant from the floor vase (you must pronounce it vase, with a long a, like you are French, okay?)

13. Did you notice how often I used unnecessary (or “dubious” at best) quotation marks in this post? Because one of our favorite signs we read many many years ago on a gas station pump and it said this:

Please “PAY” first before you “PUMP”

Isn’t it fine?

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